This heart aches.

I never know that alcohols can make me crash badly.

Yes, badly.

Alcohol is the depressant that suppresses “feel happy” hormones in the brain,

once the feeling of “high” is gone, I’m gone as well.

Never feel so depressed and heart wrecked before.

And this is when i know i’m not okay. 

Never know how i can actually hide my feeling well,

excellent enough to deceive myself.

I’m such a liar and good actor.

That night was crazy.

I drank much and partied hard.

Almost but never.

Glad in a way cause I know my friends are there for me.

Thanks but i’m sorry for being a failure.

Give me time, i’m really facing it now.

-

Shit happened after one another.

Mood was down back then, never put in efforts in planning the concert.

Injuries. Crazy thunderstorm. Death might happen too.

2nd time in my life that i feel that even i pray to GOD, no one will answer me.

Cause i’m a free thinker, which god am i talking to.

And i can never pay back a life, never.

i’m guilty for the incident that happened.

I should have prevent it but i failed too.

This guilt is too much for me to handle, broke down and cried.

Glad nothing serious but yet we would need to compensate.

Hope everything will be fine.

please be.

- 

belated post. dated back 3 weeks ago.